I'm Your Witch Doctor
by gingerbread11
Summary: A short Janto one shot based on the song 'I'm Your Witch Doctor' by Motorhead; Ianto Jones takes a trip to A&E and encounters a very dazzling and unusual Doctor Jack Harkness...


**A/N:** _Hello! I am officially deleting 'Girl Put Your Records On' today, but I will be uploading all of the seperate stories from that fic as one shots. For those of you who didn't read this when it was in my story Girl Put Your Records on, this little fic is set in a non-Torchwood AU and is about a little trip that one Ianto Jnes takes to A&E (or the ER if you're American...) Hope you like it! Hannah xxx  
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__NB: I am only going to say this once (it's too much effort to keep writing it!) as predicted I own nothing sadly, all characters etc are properties of the BBC and Russell and the gang and Motorhead.  
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><p>It was about 11.30 pm and Nurse Lisa Hallet sat impatiently in the triage room at St David's hospital, awaiting the next drunken fool who had accidentaly tripped or fallen in their intoxicated state, or the next round of fight victims with broken noses and jaws – Friday nights in A&amp;E were not pretty, but were certainly predictable. She'd lost count of the number of rowdy middle aged men that she had needed to endure flirting with her, or rather slurring their way through a ridiculously cheesy chat up line, and was fast becoming fed up even though it was only an hour or so into her shift. Night times in A&amp;E were a long way off from the day times in the Paediatrics ward were she enjoyed her work most, but shifts had to be shared out equally, and tonight she had drawn the short straw. Lisa sighed, took a quip sip of her tea before standing up to straighten her unifrom out; she had a glance over the notes for her next patient and opened the door to summon him in.<p>

"Mr Jones, if you'd like to come through now please" She said, with her most convincing smile, hoping that this Ianto Jones would be a little more sober than her last patient… that Owen Harper had had extrememly wandering hands…

It was 11.27 pm on a Friday evening and Ianto Jones, History teacher at Cardiff High School, sat waiting in the triage of St. David's hospital praying that none of his students or their parents would walk in to see him in this situation; it would be bad enough explaing the bruises on Monday… From the time of day and his outside appearance, one would automatically assume that the young Welshman had engaged in a drunken brawl at a bar and seen the worst of it. He didn't want anyone he knew to walk in and find him here, thus lowering their opinions of him, image was certainly not 'everything' to Ianto, but he couldn't stand the loss of dignity and respect that a sighting of him now would most likely earn.

His injuries were acohol induced, but it wasn't him who had been consuming the liquids; his injuries were down to a fight of sorts, but he had acted more as a peace maker than anything. Toshiko, his best friend from University, and he had met up for a quiet, or so they had hoped, drink. Neither of them had anticipated that that utter thug would start trying things on with Tohiko, forcing her to dance with him, and upon her refusal for anything more getting very violent indeed. What else could Ianto do but intervene? And so, an hour later he was sat in A&E wth what he was sure was a broken nose and a dislocated shoulder… but at least Toshiko was ok.

He glanced down at his watch, cursing internally the fact that every movement hurt, getting just slightly impatient – yes he knew it was a Friday, but Ianto was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the addition of each rowy drunk to the waiting room. Then, as if someone had read his mind, the triage nurse opened her door and called his name.

"Mr Jones, if you'd like to come through now please" The nurse said, and Ianto couldn't help but notice that she was really rather pretty – not that this observation mattered much ofcourse, she wouldn't look at him twice, she'd assume the worst about his injurries.

Nurse Hallet made took one look at Ianto, and did indeed jump to conclusions about his state, but she couldn't help but see past the bruises and sratches to his perfect, dimpled cheeks to view the beautiful amn beneath. Upon talking to him and examining his wounds, it became clear that he was telling the truth about the circumstances of his accident, and that he was far from intoxicated. Despite knowing that it was a little unproffessional, she tried flirting with the young Welshman a little, but he clearly was quite shy, that or he was gay perhaps she thought to herself. Either way, he seemed to show no interest in her, reluctantly she released him to the doctor to set his shoulder back into place… it was going to be a long night she sighed.

Regardless of how attractive Ianto had initially thought that the young nurse was, he just couldn't bring himself to respond to her attempts at flirtation. He couldn't quite put his finger on why, but just something about her irritated him slightly; he knew it was irrational as the two ha donly just met and there was nothing about her appearance that should put him off, but she just seemed to give off a certain 'vibe' that deterred Ianto from flirting back. He was relieved to find that his nose wasn't broken - he had never thought of himself as particularly good looking but he didn't think a crooked nose woud help the situation – however he wasn't all together too thrilled at the prospect of a dislocated shoulder… hopefully the doctor, a Dr Harkness he thought the Nurse had said, would be gentle with him.

He had mentally prepared himself for at least another half an hours stretch in the hellish waiting room in A&E, which now seemed far more crowded with lairy citizens than it had fifteen minutes ago, but was surprised to find that a shortish man with round glasses and a beard appear within a few minutes of his sitting down to call him through. Ianto assumed that this man was Dr Harkness; he wasn't wearing a white coat or even a suit, but then again doctors had been dressing more casually these days and the man certainly looked about the right age to be a consultant. But as the two of them walked up to the surgery room labelled 'Dr J Harkness MBBS' the elder man knocked on the door, rather than entering straight away as Ianto had expected.

"Come on in" Called out an american voice from behind the closed wooden door.

"Dr Harkness will see you know" The elderly man smiled and held the door open for the young Welshman.

"Thank you" Ianto replied, smiling back at the man who he now assumed must be one of the porters.

Inside the room, Dr Jack Harkness sat at his desk, tossing a small green and yellow ball up and down. Today had been relatively uneventful and the sardonic, eccentric doctor was bored out of his mind. Dealing with drunken hooligans was never any fun as the patients were never in fit state to respond to his outrageous jokes or use of sarcasm, and could only offer a confused or sometimes angry response. Many had often described the American as mad; he was somewhat unorthodox in his approach to, well, pretty much everything, he refused to follow trends in fashion or music or social customs – but rather stick to his own, futuristic and foreign ways. Yet despite this madness, he had an alluring charm about him, there was something in his eyes that were mysteriously older and wiser than his face,or in his inhuman scent, that just drew people in to his character and left them wanting more and confused at what exactly was so wonderful about the enigmatic Jack Harkness. He sighed when he heard the knock at the door; here comes the next intoxicated fool he thought to himself.

"Come on in" He called, regretfully.

Ianto Jones went through the opened door and was somewhat taken aback by who he found inside. He had always invisenged doctors as greying, pale faced, glasses wearing, facial haired men, wearing striped shirts and smelling of anticipetic. The man who sat with his feet upon his desk in front of him encompassed exactly none of these 'classic' traits – he was younger than expected but not as yong as Ianto himself, not a hint of stubble in sight let alone a beard, he was dressed rather casually in an impossibly blue shirt and brown leather braces, and his eyes held a gleam of wickedness and excitement. Ianto felt himself noticably gulp, he wasn't entirely sure why, but he suddenly felt rather nervous indeed.

"Hello there" The American said kicking his feet off the desk, dropping the brightly coloured ball and holding out his hand to shake that of the younger man who responded with a polite, if a little anxious, nod of a head and a firm gripped shake.

Jack was surprised to see the young Welshman walk in, he hadn't bothered to read the notes other than a quick scan to work out the lose details of the young man's injury – he'd seen disolacted shoulder and bruising listed and automatically assumed he was just another thug involved in another drunken tumble. But the man who entered, though fairly quiet, was anything but intoxicated, and certainly not a thug. Even with a rather bruised nose, there was no denying the fact that he was intriguingly beautiful – perhaps this wouldn't be too abd after all.

"So, dislocated shoulder is it?" He ushered for Ianto to sit on the corner of the bed.

"Yes, Dr Harkness"

"Well, I should be able to put you out of your pain fairly shortly. You're lucky really, narrowly missed a broken nose – wouldn't have wanted to ruin that perfect face" Jack commented, eyes wide and gleaming.

Oh my gosh, Ianto thought – did I imagine that look in his eyes, and what on Earth was he talking about, perfect face indeed? "Umm ok" He replied, feeling a little blush greeting his cheeks, unsure of how to respond to the man in front of him.

"So if you could just remove your shirt" He said, that same leery glean still present in his eyes.

"Oh, is that really necessary Dr Harkness?"

"Absolutely, oh and please call me Captain" He winked, did he wink? Ianto was sure he saw him wink…

"Captain?" he asked, nervously unbuttony his shirt

"It's just a sort of nickname… Now just try to relax, this might hurt, but trust me, it will all feel much better after I have seen to it"

The young man braced himself whilst trying to do his best to relax, he knew you were supposed to trust doctors, but he seemed both scared of and fully trusting of 'the Captain' at the same time. As the doctor, Captain, what ever, moved closer to him, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed he felt a perculiar contradiciton of over exposure and exhilaration. He felt the older man's warm breath exhaling on his cool neck, breathed in his unnatural yet agreable scent, and was utterly transfixed by his glittering eyes.

After a sharp intake of breath as the doctor quickly and expertly reloacted the shoulder back into place, Ianto let out a sigh of relief as most of his earlier pain flooded out of him, and only a stiffness remained in his shoulder. The American began to massage the afflicted area in a manner that was somewhat less than proffessional and for whatever reason Ianto just couldn't bring himself to care. He was still staring intently into the other man's eyes, and saw lust and adventure and evil and wonder and a challeneg staring back at him and for whatever reason he never wanted this eye contact to end.

Yet he reluctantly disonnected his locking eye contact with the man as Dr Harkness pulled the him into a sudden, sensual and manic kiss, which set the room on fire with passion. The older man pulled back and laughed slightly, grinning, before sending the young Welshman on his way and reclining back into his relaxed postion on the desk and resuming his throwing and catching. Ianto Jones had been the only patient, male or female, to survive a full consulation without coaxing a single bitter or sarcastic comment from the doctor, and he had no doubt that he would be seeing the beeautiful man again someday soon if he had any say in the matter.

Ianto Jones walked out of the room, shirt now replaced upon his back, and feeling utterly confused and slightly unsettled by what had just happened; he had never acted so rashly before in his life, let alone acted that way…with another man before… but he just couldn't help the strange attraction he felt towards the perculiar and wickedly handsome American, if he didn't know better he'd say it was down to a strange form of withccraft . However one thing he knew for certain, that he was with out a doubt the best doctor he had been to see.


End file.
